Thank you, next

Neurologist today.

Did not go well. We went over my symptoms and he feels they are not neurological.

He went on to suggest they are from stress.

Sigh.

I’ve been down this road before. Neurologists telling that my condition does not present as “typical.”

That doesn’t make it psychological.

He said people also don’t suffer from chronic vertigo. Which is false. Being a member of several vestibular/balance/dizziness communities, I can confirm that thousands of people suffer from chronic vertigo.

So, he already had my distrust.

But, EVEN IF the walking issues were somehow due to some kind of psychological compensation, which does happen after someone gets vertigo (which I also told him and he DENIED!!!! This is, indeed, a fact, proven to me when I have had severe vertigo in the past and explained to me by doctors and vestibular therapists)  I did not psychogenically develop cellulitis and swollen lymph nodes.

He referred me to a movement specialist. A partner of his. I don’t know how I feel about going. I don’t think this is a movement disorder. And, if it isn’t a neurological one, then I’m back to it’s because of these infections I keep getting.

K

Vertigo is a liar

Being dizzy warrants a great deal of laying-down time.

Pretty much all day, every day.

With something supporting your neck and head.

And then, for the most part, you feel “normal.”

Even guilty. Like hey, I’m not really sick. I’m feeling just fine now.

So you get up. And you remember.

Sometimes, vertigo lies long enough for you to actually do a life task. Like do the dishes or cook a meal. Or, God forbid, take a shower.

But it always reminds you. It’s still around. And it will rock your world and pull you to the floor and make you wish you never got out of bed.

You’d think this being my fourth? fifth? time at the rodeo that I would be wise to vertigo’s tricks, but I actually think it’s worse because I’m just impatient for it to get better. Those other times I was hopeless and was sure it would last forever and now I just want to get on with my life. I miss my job and my friends and driving and not friggin being dizzy!

Vertigo, you have made your point. You’re chronic. I get it. Go away now. I’m getting bored being home.