Convergence Insufficiency

I was born with a crossed/lazy eye.

My parents tried to get this corrected. They took me to several specialists, a few of whom suggested surgery. My parents were against eye surgery because, well, it's eye surgery.

They went with more non-invasive correction, such as patching the good eye or putting drops in it to blur the vision in order to get the weaker eye to work harder. But surgery was out of the question.

As far as anyone really knew, this was a cosmetic issue.

I'm sure my parents were told that I may see double some, but that my brain would figure out how to suppress the second image over time and see one image.

For the most part, that is true. And, considering how much was really known about eye surgery when I was a kid, I fully support their decision to have done what they did.

My eyes did, indeed, learn to make one image most of the time. At times, I do see double, but usually there is just one image of what I am looking at.

It is not always spatially "correct," but it is still one image.

So, what I didn't know was that, all this time, I was fighting convergence insufficiency.

I started to learn a bit about this in visual therapy. Basically, yeah, my eyes HAVE learned to see one image most of the time.

But it takes work, man.

Sometimes CONSCIOUS, DELIBERATE work.

Like, if I am having a conversation, my eyes will dart all over the place trying to fight for dominance.

Or when I am reading! Ugh! I love reading, but I hate it, too.

It's PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING and UNCOMFORTABLE!

I really never say anything about it because I didn't know this was even a thing.

I just thought I was a distractable person.

More fuel for the dizziness fire, I suppose.

long time...update

it's been a long time since I've updated this blog.

things were kind of the same for a while, so I guess I didn't have anything to say.  I was going around most days not really dizzy, pretty much avoiding things that would make me dizzy.

day in, day out, I felt like a prisoner of my inner ear.  I still do.

it got to a point where I said enough is enough.

I hadn't been driving for, what 3, 4 years?  it was time.  so I just started.

first it was out of necessity.  a little here and a little there.  my daughter needed a ride to school or a ride back from drama.

then, it suddenly became part of our routine.  ha.

I also got a job. a tiny little part-time job, but a job nonetheless.

I did discover that I can't see at night to drive.  at least not now.  I made an appointment to get my eyes checked out, but I suspect that might be a permanent problem.  I never was a good night driver.

the eye doctor I am going to see also is a neurologist, so hopefully he will understand my balance issues and my convergence issues.  it's always an adventure when I go to a new eye doctor, so I don't know.

on top of this, I've been getting more and more arthritis, and the other day, I suddenly couldn't walk on my ankle.  it got so bad, my partner insisted I go to the ER (I was just going to go to an orthopedist, but she insisted). they didn't see a break, so I'm thinking it's probably part of this arthritis ridiculousness.

at the ER, they prescribed Vicodin and a high dose of Ibuprofen for my ankle.  I've been taking it for a couple of days.  I've been careful to be conservative in how much I take since I already take other meds on a regular basis.  however, I have been getting dizzier than usual, and I can only assume that it is side effects from the medication.  also, I learned that trying to walk on the crutches the hospital gave me was a complete no-go and made me off-balance and spacey as well.

I'm going to an orthopedist the same day as the eye doctor, so we'll see what he has to say.  I feel like I'm falling apart.  just when I'm making a few steps in the right direction, poof, things go to crap. oh well, gotta keep on keeping on.