I can't tell you what a relief this is. as of yesterday, with interest, my loan was up to $44,000 and change.
my parents' and Stacy's parents' houses combined cost about that back in the day.
I know what some of you may be thinking. I went to school, I got the benefit of learning all that stuff, why should the government eat that loan?
well, I have two things to say to that.
first, if I were to have gone to school a few years later, the government would have forgiven that loan with this new Obama Student Loan Forgiveness Act anyway;
and second, I went to school with the INTENTION of USING my education to teach people with special needs. and not FOUR MONTHS into my FIRST TEACHING JOB, I contracted a PERMANENT DISABLING CONDITION which I have now dealt with for the last ELEVEN years. this is no joke, no scam, and definitely NOT FUN.
I have tried MANY TIMES to get back on the work merry-go-round only to have my condition to worsen and then I've had to leave jobs. that was never a good scene. trying to get back on disability was a nightmare. and always, always, ALWAYS I was made to feel like a LOSER.
I STILL AM, FOLKS!!
it is not acceptable to not be working in our society for ANY reason. (is it???).
oh, I suppose if I were in a war and had a body part shot off, or a cop injured in the line of duty, perhaps people would respect my inability to work.
then again, people have their stereotypes about those people, too, don't they?
look, I HATE not working. I HATE not driving. I feel like I am not in control of my life. I feel like I still have a lot to contribute to the world. and I actually do. more than some of you realize. but whatever.
what I ALSO hate is not knowing when the world is going to start spinning or the floor is going to start rushing up at me. or falling for no reason. or the migraines. not the biggest deal in the world, I know. I'm learning to cope like others like me.
the absolute WORST part of it all, though, is dealing with people who make me feel inadequate BECAUSE of my illness.
it's not my fault that I don't LOOK sick most of the time! it's not my fault that I have a relatively rare disorder. it's not my fault that YOU know NOTHING about it. educate yourself if you are so interested. I didn't go to all this physical therapy for NO REASON! I don't go to doctors constantly or take medications for FUN!
of course, I am not writing this to offend EVERYBODY. but, if you ARE offended, I guess you are one of THOSE people. if not, you've been one of my support people, or, unfortunately, someone like me, and I'm sorry for that, but you are probably nodding your head along with me. I know from being in support circles that other people's family and friends are the same or WORSE.
anyway, I continue to try to help my family any way I can. it's not adding up to much, but it's been SOMETHING. little online jobs, selling things, mystery shopping, book reviews, finding deals and discounts. and I'm here as support. it's the best I can do.
