taming the migraine

I got in to see the nurse practitioner Monday.

she made an adjustment to my medication.  she also gave me an "emergency" migraine pill, to be taken when the headache is really bad.  it seemed to work pretty well.

I also went for an MRI of my neck.  this is because I discovered somewhere along the line that my neck has been hurting really badly.  the NP wants to check this out because I have had an old injury on my neck (whiplash) which has required physical therapy and she said this could be responsible for the headaches now.  she explained in detail how the nerves in the neck reach the nerves in the head and into the eye, where I have the most of my pain.  she also wants me to get physical therapy for my neck when I go for the other therapy.

we also talked about my progress at balance therapy (or lack thereof).  she was very frank with me.  she told me that, after 11+ years and this many months of therapy, it is what it is.  some people just have to learn to live with being dizzy.  however, the goal of balance therapy, she told me, is to learn to adapt to being dizzy.  be comfortable with it, if you will.  learn to live with being dizzy.

I'm going to be honest.  I'm not comfortable with being dizzy.  I'm not happy with it.  I'm not accepting of it.

I do understand it, for the most part.  I still don't know how I got it in the first place.  Or why I have to be one of the "chosen ones" who get to keep my vertigo where there are lots of "normies" walking around who get vertigo and it goes away.  It's just like everything else in my life.  If something unappealing and less desirable could happen to a person, it's going to happen to me.  I'll get the weird side effects of medications, I'll get the strange symptoms, the wrong diagnoses.  And, apparently, the less-likely ones, too.  Vertigo forever.  It could be the name of punk band.

I've gone twice to bathe dogs with Stacy.  I held up better than I thought I would.  there were times I got dizzy and tired, but I pushed through it.  if I'm going to be dizzy forever, I have to just cowgirl up and do things dizzy.  Now that sounds like a slogan..."Do things DIZZY"  should I put that on t-shirts?